they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
