There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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