oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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