Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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