I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
