i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
