you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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