I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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