Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
