Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize