how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
