brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
