love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
