I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
