If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
