Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
