i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize