he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize