I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
