If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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