Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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