I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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