...so i touched it.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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