i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize