I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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