No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
When are your genitals available?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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