she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
