we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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