all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize