Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
