Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
