Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
