don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
