i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
