She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
it's great music for shaving your balls
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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