someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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