I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize