how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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