I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
