I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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