He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My Higher Power is John Stamos
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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