# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize