I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
