On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
