woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
