didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
