well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Two words: nipple clamps
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