if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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