u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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