Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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