if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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