Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Can I color on your dick again?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
