you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
