Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
