Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
