Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
