how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
why is half of my head shaved?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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