and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
