'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize