I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
BRING THE BAGELS
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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