After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
