...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
