i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How does it feel to date your dad?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
