I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Such a big mess for such a small penis
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
