You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
