You work out of a Hotel?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
