Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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