Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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