Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
