Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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