the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize