at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
