She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize