Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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