Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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